Why do men cheat?
It has come to my attention over and over again that men cheat, cheat and cheat. When is enough, enough? Why have women become acclimatized to the idea that men are always going to cheat no matter what, that is okay to have a 'matey' or a 'side chick' just hanging around disturbing and at times, unraveling what took precious moments to build...
Now don't get me wrong, we women are no angels either..but it has become evident to me that it is now the 'norm' for a man to have two or more women in his experiencial circle at a time, and he gets no backlash or qualms about it..he actually gets high fives from his friends and a pat on the back which further puffs up his bloated ego. He feels like he is 'the man' and tells his boys about his experience so that their tongues are wagging at the next woman that walks by, eager to experience that 'the man' feeling. But where does it lead, if not only to a black book full of names of women he barely knows and a puffed up ego ready to blow...
Now tell me men, is it worth it to have a woman who sticks by you through thick and thin, a woman who you connect to on so many levels, be forced to pack up her emotions and her baggage to leave - because you just wanted one more stroke of your ego?
Now let's get to the core of the ego, what misrepresented feelings and experiences causes men to go searching for unending approval...Is it because you think your dick is not big enough? You feel the need to prove to yourself that you can still get it up? Or, are you just filling up your 'worthy' cup? Don't get me wrong, I'm not here trying to bash you, just trying to figure out why you MUST stare at the other women around you when the baddest one standing right by you...You been together 14 years for a reason, so for once don't let your penis do all the thinking for you..
If men could go beyond the physical that they are so densely immersed in, and see that their worth doesn't lie in the amount of women they've fucked, tore up, laid it down on..but actually the worthiness, this approval they seek goes much further than skin deep. As beyonce said, "It's the soul that needs the surgery".
Now if a man is quite content with himself, and his integrity is 100% when he goes around with all these women, so be it. BUT, just make sure you are honest with your 'main chick', your 'wifey', make sure she knows what the deal is and then it is up to her to stay or go. I find that alot of the hurt in relationship from a cheating spouse doesn't necessarily come from the act of cheating, it comes from the feeling of trust being broken. And so we find that cheating is highly associated to lying. But why lie about something that you enjoy doing...tell your partner so that if she wants to enjoy similar experiences, she can too.. I smirk as I write this line because now men are like, "what?..she's going out doing to me what I'm doing to her!" That's a no-no.
Such double-standard, wanting to dish it, but not willing to accept it. And why? Well the answer is quite simple. Having his woman go about with other men, isn't quite satisfying to his ego. He doesn't have that puffed up feeling anymore cause he is no longer the only recipient of his woman's love or affection, and with that he feels dwindled, less powerful, less important. These kind of scenarios show us exactly what cheating is associated or attached to.
It is directly connected to love. Cheating is a misconstrued version of love and eventually men grow out of the cheating phase when they realize that the false love and worthiness that comes from cheating and puffing up their egos, is only a temporary condition.. Until this realization, the cycle only continues.
This is quite understandable because no-one can love anybody or anything completely until they have learned to fully love their own self.
And ironically, our men have been taught not to love themselves. They have been taught to hide their feelings and emotions, to be hard faced and tough soldiers. So no wonder they end up searching for love in millions of bed covers..
It's time to revamp our men, let them know it is okay to love. It is okay to share their feelings, it is okay to feel vulnerable. This will promote more openness and truthfulness, less awkward early morning rollovers, and the decline of cheating husbands and boyfriends..
Live Love Learn ~ and repeat with more understanding and wisdom in the next round ~
Ramblings of a woman...
